8 Things Music Teachers Wish Parents Knew
Image by Yan Krukov
8 Things Music Teachers Wish Parents Knew
Music teachers and parents share an important goal: the education of a young musician. We both want the best outcome for the student, and we get the best results when parent and teacher are on the same page about lessons.
Whether you’ve just enrolled your child in music lessons, or you’ve been working with a teacher for quite a while, there’s a lot you may not be aware of about how taking private lessons works, both in a practical sense and on a personal level. Misunderstandings, bad assumptions, or inappropriate expectations can get in the way of everyone - student, parent, and teacher - having a positive experience working together.
That’s why I’ve put together this list of a few things that I think are essential for music parents to realize. Some of these things you may know already, but some you may never have thought about or been told before.
Here are eight things that I, on behalf of all music teachers, would want all parents of music students to understand:
Parental support is incredibly important to your child’s progress and enjoyment. Your attitude toward lessons, and your practical support of your child’s developing musicianship, make a huge difference every day. I think we all know that music lessons aren’t some kind of musical ability vending machine, where you insert money and a kid, and a musician comes out. Learning music is a complex process, and a crucial catalyst of that process is YOU!
Your child’s engagement is fundamental to their learning experience. The teacher can’t take all the blame or credit for how well the student is doing. The student has to put in effort and do the learning. Although our contribution as teachers is pretty crucial to the way our students learn music, we can’t do the work for them. We help, a lot, but it really is the student who achieves the level of musicianship you see.
We genuinely care about your child! The two of us have spent quite a bit of time getting to know each other, and we have an entire relationship that you aren’t usually there to witness. Some clients view teachers as simply replaceable service providers, but to your child, we’re an adult they have a meaningful mentor relationship with. The life of a child can be pretty tumultuous, and our connection can be a source of comfort and continuity to them.
We spend much more time on your child than just the minutes we’re with them in their lesson. We prepare what we’re going to teach them, we find and create teaching resources, and we spend time combing through repertoire books to find music they’ll enjoy that will also suit their abilities and help them grow. We think about who they are as a person, what music goals we should encourage them to pursue, and how we can address their emotional needs through their music study.
We are experts, in music and in teaching. You wouldn’t have hired us if we weren’t, right? So please trust our expertise. We know you want to make sure your child is happy and making good progress in lessons, and we welcome your suggestions and input. Ultimately, though, it’s best if you let us make the decisions about how we teach and what we teach. Your child will learn best if you fully support your teacher and follow their guidance.
Our business policies are not personal. You are important to us as a client, but we have many clients and we need to balance all their needs. Teaching music lessons is our profession and our business, and we have rules in order to keep our business running smoothly. Although we want to accommodate you as best we can, we won’t always be able to give you exactly what you want, like a certain lesson schedule or a special deal on your price.
Teaching is our job, not our life. We can’t be on call 24/7 via text and email, and we can’t be available to teach any day and hour of the week, every week of the year. We have personal lives and hobbies and friends and families. We get sick. We deserve vacations. We are people. And just like all people, we need to have work/life boundaries.
You can always talk to us. In fact, we want you to! We’re not mind readers, and neither are you, so we need to communicate openly and regularly. Talk with us about your expectations for lessons and your perception of your child’s progress. Please make sure you stay on top of communications we send out via email or text, and realize that you are welcome, and encouraged, to respond in detail, to bring up anything you want us to know, and to ask us anything.
For more information about how to support your child’s musical journey, browse the For Parents category.